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i had a dream the other night about being on some beautiful long island (before it went bad) area. though i knew it would flood and everything was destoyed it was safe at that moment for every point that jut out into the sea had a utilities area.
for the last 24 hours i have been in an apocolyptic deja vu state. i hope that means an end will come.
i can't say what i feel these days , some mixture amongst utter hatred, dread, regret, disgust,love, and some sort of horrible exaltation that can't be helped just because it is all of my life.
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