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today we laid around feeling horrible and then dave made us go outside to stand in the snow and eat smoked fish. we look at maps a lot and look for suitable living areas farther north for when the time comes. an impactful wanting of proper soil is coming after the space i left off at. it feels almost like it limits the amount of mind i devote to the present. i find myself returning to images of the alpine woods in tea town, of owning land when we make enough money and building soil and stone structures on it, and particulary images of underground cave tunnels. I know where these go but it seems that not much will come with me.
I also find myself writing to my maternal grandparents often. in some ways i think that i feel the most closely tied by blood to them.
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