i feel tired and old. been walking around in business clothes sometimes looking for shitty jobs that i don't think i'll get because i can't make myself seem socially respectable enough. gotta bunch of school shit to do and i already feel like i'm done with. personal relations suck. feel sometimes that i am the stilt walker in the invalid parade. old names resurface and try to capture but i don't have the energy or the will to play. i feel pretty lonely and sucked of all my energy. i wonder if i am not setting myself up to die faster. That said however i gave birth today to two wondrous little bronze boys. i wish it was possible to make a living doing sculpture. ah well.
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